Not So Fast With the Father's Day Celebration Today?

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you know that being a better father is one of my goals - even though my kids are grown and gone.

I built my first online business around this niche concept and created a course on how to do it with The 60-Day Experiment.

I am committed to supporting fathers and children, and use my experience as a pretty terrible dad to help others...

But as I described in Bad Dad: 10 Keys to Regaining Trust, it's never too late to turn things around.

My own sons have become fathers and I'm happy to say they're terrific dads.

What was my problem? I worked too hard and didn't spend enough time loving my kids in the ways that were important to them. I thought providing a fat allowance, the coolest sneakers and a nice place to live was all that mattered.

Boy, was I wrong.

This morning I took advice from a man who was much less educated than I am, but had a wisdom that only can be taught through experience.

He had spent 12 years in prison by the time he was 30. That was nearly 20 years ago. Yet, he changed his life because he had two daughters who needed him to be a better father.

And what advice did he give about becoming a better dad?

Love your kids enough to let them make their own mistakes and be there when they need your help.

Whew! Pretty simple advice. And pretty solid too.

There have been two studies released in the past month about the effect of fathers on their children:

1) This week, USA Today reported on a study that compared real-life fathers to TV sit-com dads. Not surprisingly, real-life dads didn't fare so well. Nearly all the respondents said their dad had a lot more work pressure than the TV dads and much less time for them.

Even Homer Simpson rated as a better father!

2) The second (which I can't seem to find on the net...but I saw it on TV so that makes it true, right?) demonstrates that fathers are just as important, if not more, important than mothers when it comes to raising children.

And if you've read my report on disappearing daddies called Absentee Dads: A Child's Worst Nightmare! you already knew this. If you think an absentee dad is physically removed, you're only partially right. Some kids never know their dads. But others sit at the dinner table with them each night and still have an absentee dad.

It is just as much an emotional state as it is physical. Being in the house is not enough. Dad must be emotionally engaged and participating with the rearing of the children.

These are some of the horrors of dads who ignore the kids. Children from "fatherless" homes are:

• Five times more likely to commit suicide
• Thirty-two times more likely to run away
• Twenty times more likely to have behavioral disorders
• Fourteen times more likely to commit rape (this applies to boys)
• Nine times more likely to drop out of high school
• Ten times more likely to abuse chemical substances
• Nine times more likely to end up in a state-operated or charitable institution
• Twenty times more like to end up in prison for a long period of time 

Those statistics vary from study to study, but nearly all agree that the consequences of "fatherless" homes is no less than the breakdown of society.

So, why am I telling you all of this on Father's Day?

Dad, you're really important. How you raise your children not only affects them, but possibly the rest of our society. Your responsibility as a dad is huge.

Mom, you're not off the hook. You agreed to birth these children and you assumed your partner was going to be the best dad possible. If he's not, you need to talk. Download the special report on absentee dads. Share it. Protect your children and make sure Dad is part of the picture.

What an honor to be a father today! And what a responsibility...

Go ahead. Celebrate today. Enjoy the hot dogs on the grill or the steak at the Golden Corral, but remember, being a dad is not about you at all.

It's all about your children. Enjoy them. Teach them. Love them.

Then you can truly celebrate Father's Day...everyday!

I'd love to hear your parenting experience here.