Changing the color of everything
by Charlsa Perdew
This morning we woke to find the dusting of snow from the night before still on the ground. It had been at least four years since we had seen any snow here in north Alabama and perhaps longer. We wouldn't know since we were still in Atlanta prior to that.

The snow changed the color of everything I normally saw as I looked out the window. The dull brown-green of the water in our beaver ponds seemed a vibrant mossy color in contrast to the light covering of white. Sticks placed on the dams by our colony of beavers gleamed white like bones. The cardinals were "redder" and the bare trees an icy gray. Snow covered the forest floor and made the movement of squirrels and birds noticeable where they had previously been camouflaged by the brown of leaves and the dullness of the terrain.

Everything was a different color: more vibrant, more alive, more noticeable. It was just beautiful and it affected my mood, lifting my spirits and helping my eyes see beyond the appearances of daily routine, repetitive duties, and the mundane nature of the "expected". Ah, I was at peace; grateful and hopeful and transported to a field of newness that I relished like a day of vacation.

An hour later, it was gone. I read an email from a colleague that was punitive, accusatory and clearly a reprimand. It was a response to an earlier one I had sent with no real awareness that I might be stirring up rancor. My fingers typed an apologetic note for the misunderstanding, a message of peace and respect in response to her biting words. My husband read it before I pushed SEND. This is a practice I rely on when dealing with the written word and it's bent for multiple interpretations.

But having done the "right thing" didn't bring any relief. Rather, I felt the mix of anger; hurt and dis-ease come flooding in to change the color of everything. The snow was melting outside and the browns, grays and olive of February was returning. So it was with my spirit.  I didn't know what to do next. My fists rose figuratively to protect myself and to state my indignation over the unjust "judgment" dealt me. I went from shiny to tarnished in a matter of moments.

I talked for a moment with my husband, said a quick prayer and reminded myself to trust infinite God rather than my finite self. I had done all I could do; the result was up to God. David suggested writing about it, doing some reading to change my focus and letting it go. All of these things, I did and I prayed that this person will have something good happen today. 

In the field of human relationships there is often mystery. My experience tells me that whether it shows or not, we are all scared. Scared that we will fail, that we aren't liked or appreciated, scared that we aren't doing enough or that someone else is trying to take what we have. These fears can cause all of us to behave badly from time to time. Whether we are the one spreading the rancor or receiving it when we should shed it like water off a duck's back, it all has that same root: fear.

So, today I go to the cause and refuse to linger with my fears right now. I turn to Spirit for peace, joy and HIS perspective on my day. I let go and then, I let go again when I hear my mind's renewed chatter.  I decide to turn my thoughts away from the fear and to the GOOD.

It changes the color of everything.