
Birthday Surprise: From left — Dan, Charlsa, Carson, David
How beautiful is this woman?
I left the house this morning at 6 a.m. to drive four hours to Atlanta. I would miss Valentine's Day and not be home until Thursday.
I asked my sweet Charlsa, "What do you want to do about Valentine's Day?" We decided to put it off till Thursday.
But you know, everyday at my house is Valentine's Day. After years of searching, I finally found the right relationship.
I was prompted by a question in my inbox this morning: "Does Every Woman Have Her Own Special Beauty That Goes Beyond Looks?"
The answer: Absolutely! Charlsa is blessed with looks, too. But there are very specific characteristics that show her true beauty:
1) Laughter. Her world is quirky. It always makes me smile. And it's part of her DNA so she doesn't really know how she does it, which endears her to me even more. Sometimes, when we're with good friends, Charlsa quips an off-the-wall, but hilarious comment. We'll all burst into laughter and she'll say, "That was funny?"
Other times, we'll just be silly — together. And it's always fun.
2) Honesty. She turned 50 last weekend and she attacked it with a voracious appetite for living. As a cured cancer survivor, she's tasted her mortality. And it doesn't scare her. She wants more from herself and her life. Age is no obstacle. In 2001, she tackled a fear and a dream to own and ride a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. Now, she's passionate about that.
At 45, she decided coloring her hair was ridiculous. I agreed. Now it's a beautiful salt and pepper befitting a beautiful 50-year old woman.
Her goals for the last three years have included being as healthy possible when she turned 50. She goes to the gym 3-4 times per week because it's a priority, sacrificing deserts and TV time for that priority.
An advantage of honesty is understanding when other people aren't. (See kindness below.)
3) Integrity. Never, ever would she harm physically, emotionally or spiritually any other person — or animal for that matter. The idea that she caused you pain is abhorrent. If there's a possibility she has done so, she'll make amends immediately.
If she thinks she's under delivered on a promise she's made, she'll over deliver robbing herself of her precious time.
She's a teacher — one of the best. And a beautiful Opera singer. But instead of focusing on her performing career, she's helping to build character and integrity in her students.
Her integrity causes her to challenge yours, when appropriate. Just because she'll go the extra mile doesn't mean that she'll let you off the hook for your responsibility.
I love that, too. That's called healthy boundaries. Everyone knows what's expected.
4) Kindness. I never knew selfless kindness until I met and married this woman. The bar for that attribute was pretty low in my life. The question always playing in my head was, "What about me?" If that question plays in her head, it's way down on the list.
"How can I help you?" always comes out of her mouth first. And when she's feeling particularly down, she responds by helping others.
She has a knack for letting you "win" without giving in. Yet, you get the satisfaction of thinking you're right. She does it with a simple phrase, "Perhaps, you're right."
Think about it! Who wins that argument? You walk away thinking "Yes, I'm right. Maybe?" But the argument is definitely over. And no one is hurt. It's incredibly kind. And disarming.
5) Beauty? Of course, she's beautiful. Everyone thinks she's beautiful. And that I'm lucky. I agree.
At first, I was attracted by her striking features. When people get to know her only for a few minutes, they see what I saw quickly. It was something very rare — a beautiful soul with arms outstretched, welcoming you to a better way of life.
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